What is your reality?
Do you know?
What would you like your reality to look like?
When I was 15 I thought my future reality should be filled with money, the best technology, the biggest house, and the nicest car. Lets fast forward 16 years and quite frankly I don’t have any of that. I’m not poor by any means. The life I lead is one filled with riches. An amazing 7 year old daughter, caring friends, the best job, live in an ocean side town where the waves are only 5 mins away…check it out, I’ve got the life. I also rent my apartment, have an old iPhone, have enough money to pay my bills, and drive a Toyota Camry. None of those sound particularly fanciful, eh? They good enough for me. This picture of Ghandi’s belongings says it all:
There have been times in my life where my reality was fear. Completely fear based. Stuck with a crappy job out of fear of not being able to get a new one. Stuck with a crappy relationship with fear of not being able to “love” or “be loved” again. Didn’t put my poetry out there for the world to see because the fear of people criticizing. I made a commitment to myself a year and a half ago that this fear shit wasn’t doing it for me anymore. That’s when things started changing for me. I didn’t care about the car, money, house. I cared about being good to me and the better I was to myself, the better I was treated by others. To me, that’s what really matters, the rest comes naturally. Abundance follows those that live a life without fear.
What are your fears? You know the ones, the ones where you start making up ridiculous scenarios that at the time seem completely rational, but aren’t.
Think of that one fear that you could seriously live without. What is one thing you can do daily that can start to help the break down of this fear?
I have two big fears that I’ve been working on..Shits about to get real…You ready? K. One is my fear of people seeing me as weak. This inhibits my ability to show people how I’m truly feeling whether that be about them or a situation in general.
My second big fear and it’s the biggest of all for me…..yeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh…….and that is my fear of rejection. I get afraid to lose the very things I hold dear. People, objects, everything. In the long run it ends up not being fair for me or anyone else involved.
Writing this, right now, I contemplated not posting this for my fear that it’ll show I’m “weak”. But isn’t it more courageous to talk about the very things that cause us the most hurt, only to try to fix them for good?
So there’s one thing I’ve been doing to, one day at a time, get over these soul sucking fears of mine. Everyday, I’ve been trying to stay very honest with my feelings. Now I don’t mean I would walk around lying about how I felt. However, rather than being too paralyzed to show how I’m feeling, I’ve really been trying to show my vulnerability to the utmost at least once a day. Trying to stay as vocal as possible and communicate how I’m feeling and what I’m feeling. Sometimes I and I think most people, forget how important communication is.
Try it. Maybe it’ll work for you too. Remember you don’t have to change in a day, those expectations are too high and will only leave you feeling angry and bitter on why the change isn’t happening in an instant. Just one thing a day. Then do yourself a favor and congratulate yourself. Have a glass of wine dammit. You deserve it. That sounds good doesn’t?
Anyway, I hope you can face your fears head on. Surrender and go. Beat the crap out of your fears so you can see what a life filled with love and happiness feels like. So far in this year and a half, I’ve seen some amazing stuff happen in my life and quite frankly I can’t wait to keep getting rid of other crap.
“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.” – Dr. Seuss
Affirmation: I control my behavior and my behavior is love.